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Firing vendors is part of everyday life at a car dealership. Sometimes the product doesn’t work, sometimes you aren’t compatible and sometimes you just want a change. Unfortunately, this isn’t an enjoyable activity for most. So, we’ve come up with a list of great ways to fire your vendors.

1. Glitter Bomb

Why settle for a phone call when you can send a glitter bomb. For just $9.99, plus shipping, or upgrade it to a double glitter bomb for just $.99 more, you can break the news in a fun and festive way. This company also offers an option to ship bacon, just in case you love your vendor. Bacon makes friends.

2. Singing Telegram

Since most vendors are located in major cities finding a singing telegram shouldn’t be too hard. Heck, when I was in Bozeman you could find one, and it wasn’t a huge city. It’s best to come up with your own script to really drive the point home.

3. Send A Cake With a Message Underneath

What better way to break bad news than a freshly baked cake. Make sure to ask them their favorite flavor beforehand, just to limit the angst of losing a client. You could also pick their least favorite flavor to really rub it in.

4. Snapchat

You can create a very creative graphic to send to vendors that you no longer to work with. You can fill it with unicorns and rainbows or flames and skulls. The creativity is up to you. Snapchat really lets you flex your brain muscles.

5. Youtube Playlist

If cake isn’t good enough for you, then you could always create a playlist for your soon to be ex-vendors. Some suggestions for breakup songs are:

  • We’re Over by Glen Campbell
  • We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together by Taylor Swift
  • Over You by Chris Daughtry

Really customize it to their tastes, and even through in their favorite artist if you can. You will also want to include a video at the end explaining that you are done with their services.

6. Office Space

Office Space is a classic movie with a ton of great reference material. Unless you hate movies. Do you hate movies? If so, skip this one. If you love Office Space, then continue!

The best way to Office Space your vendor is to:

  1. Take Their Swingline
  2. Play Some Gangster Rap
  3. Destroy a Printer
  4. Inform Them That They Are Being Let Go

Well, I guess this is basically just like firing them. Except you get a swingline. You could just buy one, too.

7. The Classic

The classic way to fire a vendor is by email. Simply explain that you are done with their services, and things are all good. If you want to enhance that experience you could include one of the pieces from above, and show them that you really care. Especially the glitter bomb.

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